Never before had I (or had anyone else) seen the Captain of the Enterprise with real hair. How can this be???
It is about time the world saw this incredible sensation and that I reveal a truth that nobody could have ever believed…. … until now.
Brace yourself…
An Old Photo of Young Patrick Stewart with Real Hair
And the incredible truth is revealed…
Patrick Stewart is in fact… Daniel Day-Lewis.
As we can see, this means Patrick Stewart is the greatest actor in the world. Not only has he acted in great roles as Patrick Stewart; he has also commanded the screen as Patrick Stewart pretending to be Daniel Day-Lewis acting in such films as Last of the Mohicans.
He is a true genius. The lengths he has gone to in the pursuit of true method acting is quite incredible.
Sorry friends, I have lied to you… twice. Perhaps more.
In fact, in the photo above our friend Patrick is wearing a wig!!!
Sorry I promised you real hair. OK let’s try again.
This was quite difficult. I had to go back to the very early days of photography to find this image. Before even colour photography had been invented. Patrick Stewart lost his hair at such a young age that back then cameras were extremely rare. As a result, a photo of him with real hair is extremely hard to come by.
Pretty amazing to behold eh? Yes I agree friend. Let’s see some more.
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I had to go back in time even more to find this one.
Here we see Patrick Stewart with long gray hair on the sides but none on the top, so I’m slightly disappointed. BUT WAIT!!!!
If we look closer, in fact we make an incredible discovery. Holy Mamma.
Patrick Stewart is acting as Daniel Day-Lewis and as Steve Jobs!!!
I can’t believe it. The genius of his acting has broken boundaries that have blown my brains out and turned them into scambled eggs.
It is incredible. Not only is Patrick Stewart two of the world’s greatest actors; he is also one of history’s most significant pioneers in personal computing technology. This is quite a finding.
Why did they use Kutcher? Why did they use the Irish guy? They had the best right here. Come on guys.
Can I possibly show you anything more amazing than this?
Can I?
Just wait.
Be patient.
It’s coming.
…
…
Hold on.
OK, prepare yourself.
Patrick Stewart is not Patrick Stewart.
No no.
All this time we have been completely fooled by the incredible dedication to method acting from actor Andy Whitfield. Never heard of him? Me neither. But guess what. He’s a genius.
Not only is Andy Whitfield fooled us for years by acting as Patrick Stewart and Daniel Day-Lewis, he is also one of history’s greatest computing pioneers, Steve Jobs.
This twist is incredible.
Thank you for joining friends. Please, tell your friends. We must not keep this great truth to ourselves. Tell one small sausage dog in secret. The sausage dog will know what to do. I have updated them all.
